Happy Utah Pride Week everyone! To celebrate Utah Pride week, I am sharing one of the most important interviews in the history of Mormon Stories Podcast. It is the story of Kyle Ashworth – a dear, brilliant, talented friend, and the host of Latter Gay Stories podcast.
This interview is important for at least 3 reasons:
- Kyle is a truly brilliant, caring human. That should be enough.
- It conveys super powerfully the myriad of ways in which the Mormon Church harms its LGBTQ members AND its straight members – including a deep dive into the serious problems of mixed-orientation marriages within Mormonism, along with the deep ineffectiveness and deceptiveness of organizations like North Star International.
- Finally, It is ultimately a story of “love winning out” as Kyle, his ex-wife, and her family fulfill their mantra, “One Family, Two homes.”
Please watch and enjoy, and please spread the word!!!
Part 1:
Part 2:
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How can I be on this podcast? I was a guest on Richard Ostler’s Listen, Learn, and Love in 2019. I’ve introduced several new chapters to my life since then including: civil divorce (my ex wife and I are great friends and coparents), coming out as gay, leaving the church, etc. Too generic? Maybe listen to the episode 198 on listen learn and love to see if you feel having me on your podcast could be beneficial for you listeners. Thank you.
John, I warned you! I told you that if you didn’t stop having wonderful podcasts, I would be forced to be on board with you again! Of all your podcasts, this one is head and shoulders above all the others in spite of the marvelous other podcasts. This is my story. It is the pain that I have endured. I relate to every word of this podcast. THANK YOU to both of you.
John, what I’m about to opine is rather brash and please understand that I admire what you do, your courage and service. You are excellent at what you do. However, Kyle is doing an excellent job of telling his story and moving the interview along. Although there are some of your guests that need help communicating/verbalizing their concepts Kyle is not one of them. He is inciteful and skilled at verbalizing all the nuances his experience. Please a bit less commentary which is serving to merely rephrase what Kyle has already expressed.
Homie, why nitpick? This episode is absolutely brilliant.
I hear a lot of people talking that Mormonism doesn’t like to discuss sex; Mormonism doesn’t want us to work through these problems. Well I didn’t grow up as a Mormon and the whole community in Maine that I grew up in, was the same way and they weren’t Mormon at all. They are a mixture of different religions, but no Mormons that we knew of.. everything that these guys are complaining about everyone grew up with when we were younger…
Now, I know and have many gay and lesbian friends. I love my brothers and sisters as sensitive people who are caring and love me back. I had no problem with being with them except if they started making out or becoming lustful and then the spirit left immediately. So that gave me something to think about. I prayed and I asked the Lord…why do you tell gay people not to act on their sexual feelings and emotions.
After much contemplation, I came to realize through the guidance of the Holy Spirit that we all have our differences… We all have emotions and feelings that don’t fit in to every culture or community; or handicaps such as MS, attention deficit, or mental illness. Everyone has to deal with the cards they are dealt; and the messages that Christ wants to learn are for us to turn to him. Christ can help us get through all of this and change our hearts to peace and even happiness.
I have attention deficit and that got me in trouble and caused a lot of problems in my life. A lot of people didn’t want to deal with me, sometimes be around me and my teachers really did not like me. But I had to learn to deal with it, control it, and turn to the spirit of the Lord to help me understand how to get through it.
Brother Holland showed great love toward all people straight, gay, lesbian… He will not deny any of us, but he does want us to follow the gospel and allow Jesus Christ to teach us how to do that, no matter what or differences. That’s what he was talking about. What’s in the scriptures you can’t pick and choose ..you either listen to the spirit; believe the spirit; and follow the spirit or you go against it. I questioned myself once whether I was gay or not, and I found out I wasn’t. I have seen a lot of kids in school go through this because of hardships or bad choices. They experienced strained relationships that caused them to turn to their own kind for love and attention and safety. They weren’t really gay, but were encouraged to live that lifestyle. Hardships in life was something we all had to work through, and still do; but I know the spirit guides us and wants us to be happy as well as anyone else who had disabilities or who doesn’t fit in or has a different lifestyle. The spirit speaks the truth; we just have to listen and learn how to deal with our own understanding.. it can be complicated
If you go against that Spirit. That was a very difficult talk for Elder Holland to give and they are trying to tell us to follow the gospel and follow the doctrine of Christ. If we start making up our own ways and our own understanding, we will pay the price. It’s all in the scriptures.
A wonderful Podcast!! My heart goes out to Kyle who so valiantly tried to ‘fix himself’ as a believing Mormon. If there is a God in heaven He loves all of creation just as He made it!! My wish for you Kyle, is a future of fulfillment and joy… you deserve it!!! Thanks to you and John for a fantastic interview. The church really needs to mend its cruel ways on the issues of LGBTQ members.
My heart goes out to his ex-wife who Kyle did not inform of his sexual orientation while they were dating. She had the right to know who she was marrying. It was truly unconscionable.
Kyle
Thank you so much for the great interview. I have been following you on Latter Gay Saints for quite a while now. Though I am older than you by a generation, I know your story so well. I was in a mixed orientation marriage long ago, and was the unknowing wife. I do wish someone would tell my side of the story. It is very long, twisted and had a tragic ending. For the last 30 years, I have been trying my best to help my children heal from the abuse and loathing he inflicted on them, because he could not face the truth of his life. They are willing to forgive him, and understand, but it is too late.
If I could communicate one thing to families, love should trump the church and its hateful doctrine before more families are torn apart as mine was.
Anne
I haven’t been back in a chapel since the Nov. 15 policy. That was the straw an an ready shaky camel…..
I really enjoyed your story Kyle. You are an amazing person. I am sorry for the pain you endured at the hands of Mormonism and I am happy for the joy you have found after it. Mormonism hurts so many. I can relate.
It’s often so tough to rank Mormon Stories interviews but this one…this one. Wow! You can feel the love Kyle had for the church growing up, on his mission, and in his adult life as he tried and tried to “make it go away” so he could be the kind of Mormon he wanted to be. He’s so incredibly articule—all your guests are but Kyle has it in spades.
I love the interviewer you’ve become, John. I know it annoys some but I like that you back up to make sure you and your audience understand, then go back where you left off.
Can you make the Northstar segment a stand alone? You published it in MSPC but it could stand to be a separate segment, called 1436 B here. I’m going to try and find it on FB but I’m not sure it can be shared from there. thanks.
I work in family law and divorce is a very negative word because of the hostility that is generally inherent in it. If we attempt to reorganize families than break them up, I think we could find healthier ways for people to move into new ways of being family with less acrimony.
I tried to go to the web page for Kyle and download his “On The Record” document and was sent to an online pharmaceutical web page. Would like to have been able to download the content.