1403: Chelsea and Nick Homer – Finding Community Outside of Mormonism

Chelsea and Nick Homer were both raised as devout Utah Mormons – with all the good and bad this entailed, and both were equally determined to have the perfect Mormon marriage and family.  After meeting at BYU and an extended, careful courtship, Chelsea and Nick were married in the Bountiful temple. Then their Mormon dream immediately began to fray.

Beginning with the wedding night/honeymoon, Chelsea and Nick experienced problems with sexual intimacy, due (in large part) to unhealthy messages they received around sexual “purity” and “modesty” as Mormon teens.  Then, a year into their marriage, Nick began to lose his testimony in the Mormon church – causing Nick and Chelsea to seriously contemplate divorce.

When it became clear that Nick was not going to perform the priesthood blessing for their their firstborn child, Chelsea and Nick decided to courageously post about their situation on her Instagram account, in part to defy the shaming and unhealthy rumors that so often accompany this situation within Mormonism (e.g., “Nick must be into PORN!”). This post was dated September 24, 2017.

Surprisingly to both Chelsea and Nick, a Public Relations employee for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints asked if Chelsea would write a post about this experience for the Church’s Instagram. This post (dated February 7, 2018) can be found here, and to date has 58,947 “likes.”  Later, the LDS Church PR department asked Chelsea to author an article about navigating her Mormon mixed-faith marriage as a believing wife.  This heavily correlated article is entitled “Who Do I Choose – God or My Husband? – and was published by lds.org on July 25, 2018.

After these social media posts, Chelsea and Nick immediately began receiving messages, emails, and phone calls from other young Mormon couples also experiencing faith crises and/or mixed-faith marriages.  To help provide support and community for all the young Mormon women who were struggling with faith crises, Chelsea formed on July 31, 2019 a Facebook group entitled “Faith Journey Meetups,” which at present has over 2,000 members.  The description of this group is as follows:  “Welcome! This is a meetup hub for women who are actively navigating their personal faith journeys. Come, make friends, schedule get-togethers. This is a safe place to find support and turn internet acquaintances into real life friends.”

Eventually, Chelsea also lost her faith in the Mormon church, and today Nick and Chelsea are navigating a life of healing, growth, and joy after Mormonism.

This is their story.


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  1. This is so powerful! I feel understood and not so freaking alone!
    It’s frustrating to feel constrained and conflicted wanting to both more openly shine a light for others in my community who suffer in faith crisis, while not causing hurt or offend the believers that I love…
    I’m going to step it up in Omaha Ne!!

  2. Ricardo Montobon

    Near the end when Nick mentions getting a new job and being asked about schooling – looking for a way to say “not one of those BYUie type.” Reminds me of the “if you were accused of being mormon – would there be enough evidence to convict you?” I hope not

  3. The links to the church’s Instagram and website featuring Chelsea’s post and article are both broken. I wonder if they’re trying to scrub her posts now that her own faith has shifted. I’m assuming they were working when this interview first went live.

    1. I have not been able to find the article on the LDS.org website. I found the teaser on LDSLIVING but the whole story is not complete and the link is broken. I would love to read this and share this with some loved ones. Can you please share a link somewhere that contains the whole article, “Who do I choose – God or my husband?” Thank you very much for your inspiring story.

  4. Great interview! I forget just how often I’ve had the luxury of forgetting I grew up Mormon but happy I stumbled on this for a refresher a few days before my son gets baptized to help me process feelings leading up to attending.
    Maybe if I can overcome social work burnout can explore setting up a men’s group that doesn’t necessarily highlight Mormonism or faith transitions but as a place to gather and meet folks. Thanks for sharing!

  5. Thanks John, for the shout out to me and my ThinkAgain-FaithAgain.life group. Great interview. I appreciate how you would tease out more detail from both in many of their answers. I remember Chelsea and Nick coming several times to our Faith Again group. Very thoughtful and good-hearted couple. And they’ve continued to be so. Thanks to you both for being willing to share. I’m delighted that Chelsea has brought women together to strengthen and support each other. That’s a beautiful thing. And I love that Nick has joined the ranks of non-meat eaters and also become an environmentalist. Both are passions of mine.

    Best to you all and all those on this crazy ride called life.

    jay griffith

  6. John C Stratton

    I wanna to say THANK YOU FOR YOUR FEELING AND SHARING! My wife left about two years ago and I left church a year ago we were struggles marriages and I had very bad experience and damaged my life.. Thank You John!

  7. Russell Christie

    I thankfully avoided all that stress. After being lds for my first 20 years I married a non lds Christian woman and joined her church. My immediate family were not church goers. The worst I got was some condescending looks. I have been a big fan of the tanners. Going on 80 and still loving life.

  8. I loved this interview. Thank you both (and John) for the vulnerability. Their stories – both collectively and independently – have so many relatable elements to my wife and I (our timeline was a couple years prior, but close). Thanks for being brave. Nick for having the courage of taking those first big steps and Chelsea for having the courage to take your story so public (social, podcasts, etc.). Stories like these slowly change the perception of the departed. We are still nice people: ) !

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