John Dehlin

Welcome and Origins of the Thrive Event

[00:00:00] Sa. This is really mind boggling to know that. The idea for this event first was discussed at Tsunami, eating sushi with my dear friend Clint Martin. And just half a year later, there's over 1700 people here in the Salt palace in this beautiful facility, sharing healing and growth and community with each other.

[00:00:53] Thank you so much for being. I had this idea for this talk in a dream. I haven't been sleeping well lately because whenever I have a big event for about the first the two months prior to an event, I don't sleep. And Margi's been very patient with me as I've woken up each morning at 3am not able to get back to sleep.

[00:01:17] But the idea for this event, for this talk came in my dreams. I actually put it aside and planned a different talk, which is the title that's on the program. And I became overwhelmed realizing that I was denying my destiny and giving the wrong talk. So I came back to the talk I received in my dream and I hope you guys appreciate it. And I'm going to need your help. This talk is going to try your patience, hopefully an endurance and stamina. Hopefully not because it's too long, as most of many of my Mormon Stories episodes can be at times according to some, but because I'm gonna need your help.

[00:01:54] This is something we're gonna do together. And as soon as I need your help, I'll let you know. But I'm very serious. It's gonna try your energy and your endurance and your stamina, but I'm asking you to prepare. You got about five minutes. Okay. All right, that slides up there because we are gonna do our next Thrive presentation in Chicago in April. I'm super grateful for those who are here. I don't know if they want to be named, so I'm not gonna name them, but who have stepped up to sponsor Thrive Chicago. I'm also putting that up there not just so that you'll come to that or tell people about it, but so you'll come to us and let us know who else wants to sponsor or Thrive in your local area.

[00:02:33] If you bring the right commitment and energy and passion, we'll bring these events to you as well. Is that all right? Okay. So I want to begin by honoring briefly the things that I loved about Mormonism. And what I try and do when I talk to people who I coach occasionally is that it's really important to keep the good that Mormonism taught you and then extend it. And what I love about this event is that it's in a way Emboddling that, embodying that idea. In other words, it's like a general conference. We're all gathered together, we're here as a community. We have this beautiful music that's been provided by Chelsea and by Mindy.

[00:03:21] We're singing together, we're united, we're having talks, and there's so many good things about it and we're extending it. I've been so thrilled to see a woman presiding and directing and conducting in a general conference. That means a lot to me and thank you, Natasha, for doing that.

[00:03:43] It's a little weird in a general conference like, setting to hear words like vulva and clitoris. Okay. But we're modeling a new level of health and well being that sometimes involves incredible vulnerability. And my favorite parts of all the talks I've heard so far have been when our speakers have been willing to be vulnerable and to share not just how awesome they are, but how broken they are. And I love that we're modeling that vulnerability here in this presentation, and I love it. So thank you again to all those who have been a part of that.

[00:04:17] So here we are together. So many things I love about Mormonism. And it brought me back to sort of the epitome of my Mormon experience. Yes, I grew up in Texas. Katy, Texas. I love the church, but I think the epitome of my true believing Mormon experience happened at byu.

Personal Faith Journey and the State of Mormonism

[00:04:33] Top, top left, that's me on the right, that's me with my Chipman hall buddies at Healman Hall. We were so proud of ourselves. We were so into the gospel. We were so into the church. When Jeffrey R. Holland, our university president, would come and speak to us, we were so excited. Anytime an apostle would come, we would drool at their feet.

[00:04:50] Our religion classes were our favorite classes of all. And the girls weren't bad either. So it was a great experience. That's all of us, Chipman hall, our wing, all climbing to the top of Mount Tibanogos. Picture's a little bit dark, but you get the picture. It was just this wonderful, ecstatic time and I loved it. And for me, that typifies what I love most about Mormonism. When I think about Mormons, when I think about orthodox believing Mormons, I think of people and families that are devoted. I think of people that are kind in many, many ways. I think of people that are hard working, people that try and live as cleanly and as honestly as they can.

[00:05:33] They're very family oriented. They're very community centered and they're very, very loyal. And for those of us who are here, can we please celebrate our believing in our orthodox Mormon friends and family for the many virtues that they teach us? Can we do that.

[00:05:58] Also? Back in the day when I was at byu, things weren't all hunky dory. If any of you remember, I graduated at BYU in that inauspicious or auspicious year 1993, where we're all sort of loving Jeffrey R. Holland and general authorities and conference, and we're hearing these rumblings about these six people who are about to be excommunicated. And they even had a little conference at a local hotel in Provo, Utah, where they were trying to do some press Release that like 15 people came to listen to, to try and sort of get some press about what was happening to them. And I didn't fully appreciate at the time the, the courage and the integrity and the hard work and the sacrifices that not only these people made, but that many other scholars and historians and activists made in the 60s and the 70s and the 80s while we were all not paying attention.

[00:07:03] And there's many more that deserve to be on that slide, but that's the most convenient slide I could put together. So let's talk about what it was also like back in the day, aside from the wonderful things that we all experience or that many of us experience as Mormonism. Back in the day, factual information about Mormonism was very hard to find.

[00:07:25] We didn't have the Internet, we didn't have Facebook. We didn't have any of the digital amenities that we have now today. We did have the book called no Man Knows My History. We did have a magazine called Sunson and Dialogue. Most of us had never heard of any of those things.

[00:07:43] And if we had, we were. We were severely warned to stay away from them. They were dangerous, they were bad, they were dirty. And so we did most of us stay away from those things. And so we never really learned about our own faith, about our own tradition. And most of us were sort of oblivious. Now, that's not all of us, but many of us back in the day activists rarely tried to change the church because it was too hard to garner support. Yes, there would be protests. Yes, there would be people trying to make a difference, but there wasn't an easy way to get community together, to get support, to get the media involved and to make a significant difference in the world.

[00:08:24] And if by chance one of our fellow Mormon colleagues decided that they wanted to try and change the church, it didn't go well. And their efforts were largely squelched. So you didn't get a lot of Mormon activism back in the day, but back in the day, Mormons were afraid to talk about their doubts and their disbelief, and it was basically social suicide to do so. Now, guess what? There's still a lot of that going on right now. But 30 or 40 years ago, believe it or not, it was actually worse. So if you had doubts, if you had problems, if you had insecurities or weaknesses or fears or inadequacies, you kept that to yourself or you got in big trouble.

[00:09:06] And that's the way it was back in the day. Back in the day, Mormons who left the church just disappeared and were forgotten. I remember the first time John Hamer told me his story about going to BYU as a gay man, and he went to BYU and he graduated, and as soon as he was done, he left. And as far as he probably thought, he was never going to be coming back around here, Right? And he was largely forgotten by many, many people because that's what happened back in the day. My own cousins, I had a couple cousins who were gay. We weren't very affirming of that back then.

[00:09:41] So what did they do? They moved to Boston and they stopped coming to family reunions, and they just disappeared. Because that's what people did when they weren't part of the program. They just quietly faded away and they disappeared.

[00:09:53] Back in the day, it was super hard to find. Excuse me, it was super hard to find. Community after Mormonism, ex Mormons largely lived alone or in the shadows. They would leave Utah, they would separate, they would scatter. And there was really not much of an opportunity for them to coalesce, to get together, to support each other, to connect, to buoy each other up. There was, you know, there were a couple things, like the Ex Mormon foundation, which was an important institution while it was around, but it was largely marginalized and small and relegated to the sidelines. Back in the day, people who lost their faith or left Mormonism were labeled as lost and angry and bitter and dark and negative and fallen and broken.

[00:10:47] Maybe we're still thought of in some way. Are we still there? Is that what you're saying? We're still kind of there? Okay, maybe we're still kind of there, and that's why we're here today. And we'll get more back to that in a second. Back in the day, there was a heavy emphasis within post Mormon communities on deconstructing Mormonism and criticizing the Mormon Church, which I will say I have been guilty of. I have done a Whole lot of that. And it's both understandable and necessary to engage in that anger and that deconstruction, and as a way to process what happened to you, as a way to learn from it, as a way to make sense of it, and as a way to make sure that you never get fooled again.

[00:11:27] And so it is a very important part of our process, and we shouldn't be ashamed of that. We shouldn't feel shame and guilt about that. That's just what it's like to feel utterly betrayed and disappointed and disillusioned and to have your entire world cave from under you when. When your worldview collapses.

[00:11:51] So that's what it was like back in the day. And to some degree, we still have a long way to go. But what I want you to look around this room right now and realize is in 2019, we are actually in a very different place than we were 30 or 40 years ago.

[00:12:12] And it's really, really important that we recognize that and that we recognize the people who have sacrificed to get us to the point where we could be at the Salt palace with 1700 people all celebrating and enjoying and loving our communion together.

[00:12:34] And now is where. Yeah, absolutely. So get ready. I'm about to need your help. All right. So when I look around this room, I don't see people who are dark. I don't see people who are loathsome and who are sinful and evil and bad and wicked. Right. I see people who love truth.

[00:13:01] I see people who have very high levels of integrity who are willing to make huge sacrifices for truth and for living authentic lives and to stick up for those who are less fortunate than we are. I see people who are courageous and who make, again, great sacrifices to speak their truth and to stand up for those who are in need. I see people who are incredibly kind and generous.

[00:13:31] I see people who have formed beautiful communities. And I feel and I see and I experience every day an incredible amount of love from those of you who I have the pleasure to interact with on a daily basis. That's what I see, and that's what I think is here today. Thank you.

[00:13:52] Thank you. And so where are we now? I'll tell you where we are now. In 2019, we have a much better understanding of the truths and the realities of Mormon history, Mormon doctrine, Mormon theology. We have a broader global understanding as Mormons and post Mormons of Mormonism than ever in the history of Mormonism. Right now, in 2019, we have activism and we have social movements that are transforming Mormonism before our very eyes. And if any of you have any doubt about that, just think about the latest administration of the latest Mormon president and prophet, Russell M. Nelson. Can anyone deny the fact that the Mormon Church is changing in more positive ways at a greater pace and at a greater acceleration than it ever has in its entire history?

[00:14:44] Some of you may be hesitant to applaud at that, but we can't simultaneously criticize the church for not being as it should and then when it does make positive changes, not be willing to celebrate it. And so I think we should join in celebrating the positive, including, as Juliana Viegas Haas says, that really unfortunate 2015 policy that she so prophetically prophesied is that redundant. Prophetically prophesied that she so prophesied would be repealed as it was. So thank you for your prophecy, Juliana. That was beautiful. We have thousands of progressive and post Mormons who are now sharing their stories in public and giving people hope. Mormon stories podcast has 1200 hours of people telling their stories.

[00:15:29] And it's not the only Mormon themed podcast. I would also add that there is no other religious tradition in the world that has a greater podcasting presence than the Mormon Church. No other religious institution comes close. Not. I speak with Jehovah's Witnesses. I speak with Scientologists, Catholics, Evangelicals. They are all envious of the podcast communities that we have built within Mormonism. And they have made a tremendous difference in transforming our people and our culture and our church. Absolutely.

[00:16:06] We are no longer hiding in the shadows. We are no longer disappearing and retreating. We are no longer ashamed of who we are. And we're not disappearing from the culture that is around us. We are blending in. We are standing tall and we're standing strong. And with fellow believers together, we are pioneering and modeling ways to live in harmony so that non believers and believers can get along, can become friends. I was so delighted to see David. Oh, what's his name? The Bridges book. David Osler's book. Is that not an amazing book? And all it is is a book that basically says believers and non believers need to love each other and get along and put family first over anything else.

The Thrive Awards: Courage, Community, and Healing

[00:16:47] And I'm so thrilled that our speakers tonight have been sharing that theme over and over and over again. People, family and love before religious beliefs or secular beliefs. We are modeling how mixed faith marriages and mixed faith families can actually heal and grow. We're doing better than we ever have at bringing people together.

[00:17:13] Our countenances have not fallen. We are not dark and fallen. You are not alone. We are standing together in the Light and we are are thriving. How did we get here? How did we get here in 30 or 40 years, how did we get to this amazing point? And that's what my dream was about, when I had a dream about what this talk needed to be.

[00:17:57] I've identified eight ish pillars for how we got here. Education, activism, courage, community, healing, growth, art and philanthropy. And now it is time where I need your help. We are going to have the first inaugural Thrive in Recognition event.

[00:18:19] I was having a walk with my sweetheart Margi the other day, and she said, don't call it an award because award means there are winners and losers and awards. Not a good word. So we're going to do recognition. This isn't a trophy you're going to take home, okay? This isn't something that you can put on your mantle. This is an experience where we're going to honor a few people tonight, okay? And what they get is they get to stand in front of 1700 people that they have helped, along with the entire Internet world that's watching.

[00:18:50] They are going to be celebrated for their contributions. Because you guys may or may not know this, but unless you have stood in the fire of trying to make meaningful change within Mormonism in a public way, you will never fully understand what it is like.

[00:19:13] And so we're going to honor a few people tonight. Is that all right? You guys with me? So you now have the chance to show your appreciation. One other disclaimer. Many people deserve recognition. We are ignoring thousands of people who deserve recognition. There are people in this room who deserve recognition that we won't be recognizing tonight. But if Thrive continues beyond today, and I hope it does, this will be in, if I have anything to do with it, a regular tradition where we bring up people who have changed our lives and we honor them. Is that all right?

[00:19:50] Okay. So the first person. And I'm going to do so, I'm going to ask each person to stand up behind me. And when we're done, we're going to have a whole list of. We'll have a whole host of people up here. And I just want to stand together with these people so that we can have a final round of applause.

[00:20:08] And that's what's going to happen. Is that all right? And I want a couple pictures to be taken once everybody's up here. So the first person that we're going to honor tonight is, I lovingly call her our gentile invitee for today's thrive. We are going to be honoring Amber Skora as a member of Our global family. So, Amber.

[00:20:28] Amber, are you here? Amber told me she was going to be here, but she may have had a family situation. So if any of you see Amber, tell her I just called her up here. If not, chances are she's got something. So, Amber, we love you. We recognize you. Your contributions not only to the Jehovah's Witness movement, but to Mormonism and to the. To the broader world are significant.

[00:20:55] All right, we have a category called Thrive Education. Education is about helping us become more aware of our realities in Mormonism. And today, we're going to be honoring Jeremy Runnels. Jeremy, can you come up here? I hope you don't get too tired waiting for other people to come up. Stay right there. Okay, the next award is for activism.

[00:21:44] This person deserves to be in about six categories, and this is probably the category that she least would want to be placed in, but I'll explain why. The person that I'm going to honor is Stephanie Sorensen Larsen and the people of Encircle now.

[00:22:04] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Encircle is everything. It's a community. It's about healing. It's about growth, but it is also a form of activism. Their slogan, which is no sides, only love, is probably the most effective and meaningful form of activism I can ever imagine. And so I want to put that forward as a. As a motivating factor for any of you who want to be an activist. If you want to be an activist, find a way to follow the motto of no sides, only love. And I don't have to tell you what Encircle does. Encircle is this phenomenal house for LGBT youth starting in Provo.

[00:22:55] Now, there's one in Salt Lake. There's soon going to be one in St. George, and who knows how many in circles are going to dot the globe? And that's all for you and your people. Stephanie Sorensen Larsen and Jacob. Jacob probably deserves a lot of honor, too. Jacob Dunford and all the great people at Encircle and their staff and their donors. All right, the next award is for courage. These are people who are willing to tell their story in a culture where you don't get rewarded for telling your story, you get punished for telling your story by a group of people. But you change and save the lives of others when you tell your story.

[00:23:33] Stories change lives. How many of you have been blessed by stories that have been told by other people? Stand up. Stand up right now if you've been. If you've been influenced. All right, so the first person we're honoring is Hans and Brigitte Mattson.

[00:23:49] Hans and Brigitte, come up here. Oh, don't tell me they're gone. Knuckleheads. Oh, here they come. Here they come. Hansa. Brigitte Madsen, everybody. I did not have to tell you that Hans was an area authority from Sweden. Hans and Brigitte were viewed as pillars and pioneers in their Swedish community. And for Hans to be willing to tell his story in the New York Times, to come on Mormon stories, and significantly, to engage in another true activist effort of getting Marlon Jensen to read a study that was conducted by several of us on the faith crisis issue that was serving the church directly led to the Gospel topics essays that have now been released.

[00:24:55] So we have Hans and Brigitte and their courage to thank. And as I've learned from my dear wife, Margi, the spouse of an activist is every bit a part of the effort. So, Brigitte, we love you, too. And, Mitch, that goes for you.

[00:25:22] What's your wife's name? Your wife. All right, the next person we're honor is Donna and Michael Showalter. Donald, come up. How many of you have seen Donna's. Donna's Mormon Stories podcast? Can you guys give Donna and Michael a thanks for their story and being willing to tell their story?

[00:25:58] It is not easy to have a public faith crisis in Utah. It's even harder to do it in Provo when you've been Relief Society president and in state callings in Provo while you're an employee of byu, by the way. And Michael, your courage in helping educate us all about how to treat our LGBT loved ones is exemplary. So thank you to you both.

[00:26:25] All right, the next award is community. We have way too many people that we're honoring tonight, but we're going to do it anyway. The first is Steve and Chris Holbrook. Steve and Chris and Alison Udall. Come on up, everybody.

[00:26:55] Some of you may not know Steve or Chris or Allison. Steve and Chris Holbrook started the Utah Valley Post Mormon community, which is the largest Post Mormon community in the world. They've got well over a thousand people. It's an. How many of you are from uvpm? How many of you are here today? Yes. Have a shout out. Absolutely. And then if that weren't enough, Steve teamed with Allison to create the Mormon Spectrum, which is this amazing website with over 200 communities dotting the globe, making it so all of you who needed to find a local community of support could do so could those of you who have been benefited by the Mormon spectrum communities and the face to face communities around the world.

[00:27:34] Please stand up and give your applause to the Mormon Spectrum team. And Chris and Allison and Steve, Aren't these awesome people? Look at these people. Shawn and Crystal Escobar for Mormon Enlightenment Community. Come on up. Sean and Crystal, How many of you have been impacted by the Mormon Enlightenment communities? Give a shout out.

[00:28:17] I've never seen a vibrant community that's so large been created in such a short amount of time. And Sean and Crystal, you guys have been heroic in your efforts to build community. There's so much passion and excitement. You're reaching a generation that us old fogies aren't able to reach. I'm not saying, you know anything other than just, it's great to have younger soldiers kind of in this holy experience of bringing love. Soldiers of love. And you guys are doing it. So thank you so much.

[00:28:57] By show of standing up, how many of you have been affected by waca? How many of you have been to the WAKA events? Coca, moca, I give to you Kim Turner, and the wonderful women of waca, Wca. For those. For the three of you who don't know, WCA is an amazing women's organization.

[00:29:42] The acronym stands for Women of a Certain Age. Kim is the founder of it. She has an amazing leadership team that's been supporting her. And not only have they provided communities of support and love and fun and retreats for thousands of women across the Wasatch Front and around the world, but they also didn't stop there. They created moca, a support group for men of a certain age.

[00:30:04] They created coca, a support group for couples of a certain age here along the Wasatch Front. And I cannot tell you how many lives have been saved, and most importantly, lives have been uplifted by the work of you, Kim Turner, and your amazing team.

[00:30:22] Let's give Tim Turner a round of applause. And, Terry, you're pretty freaking awesome yourself, because again, behind every good woman is a good man. Right? It's time to say that for a change, I guess. Not always. Behind every good woman is a good man. There are lots of good women that stand on their own. But, Terry, you've been amazing, and I've seen how much you've sacrificed.

[00:30:49] Did I say that wrong? I'm sorry. We need lots of forgiveness here. All right? The next award is for Healing. Thrive is about healing and growth, and we need more healers in this community. I love, you know, being a coach. I'm glad I got my degree in psychology. I literally cannot help all the people that need help. There's just no way. And so we need healers. And I cannot think of a person who represents healing within Mormonism more than Natasha Alford Parker.

[00:31:38] Crying is good, Natasha. That's vulnerability. Whether it's Mormon sex info, Mormon mental health, gift of the Mormon Faith crisis podcast, the two books that she's selling out there, and her work as a therapist, sex therapist, and as a couples therapist to so many people. And Natasha, just being a dear friend and a loyal supporter, I love you. You're a treasure to us all, as are every single person up here and the many that we're not honoring tonight. The next people we're going to honor are Katie and Alan Mount.

[00:32:21] So they told me. Oh, there they are. Okay, we have a child vomiting. Alan, why didn't you go? Just kidding. It's not my job to judge. For those of you who don't know, Katie and Alan decided that because they're in a mixed faith marriage, they're going to turn their pain into a blessing for other people's lives. And so they started a podcast called Marriage on a Tightrope where all they do. And they formed a beautiful Facebook community as well, where they're supporting couples in mixed faith marriages. And they are embodying ways that mixed faith couples can love each other and support each other and even become stronger as a couple through embracing their differences and doing it.

[00:33:08] All right. Growth. Yeah. Yeah. Let's give Katie and Alan one more round of applause for Marriage on a Tightrope. How many tightropers are out there, by the way? Please shout right now. How does that sound? Feel, Alan. I love it. By the way, Alan's going to be leading karaoke tonight at 8 o', clock, so make sure you come back for that. His Freddie Mercury impression is unbelievable.

[00:33:33] All right, the category for growth goes to some of my favorite humans on the planet. Nobody at Thrive has made any money. There's no motivation here to get rich. This is just a bunch of volunteers who care, who believe in an idea, and who are willing to not only put their words and their mouths towards a solution, but have worked super hard daily for months and months and months, sacrificing their own time, their own opportunities for whatever it is they would do to create what you all are experiencing here today. And so, without any further ado, please come up. The Thrive committee, which is Clint and Jenny Martin, Lisa and Paul Hacking, Brooke Barnum Miller and Lindy Johnson, and Tyler Alden, you joined us recently as well.

[00:34:33] Tyler's right here. This is your Thrive committee, everybody. All right, you guys are bringing it Keep the energy up. We're almost done. Am I over my 20 minutes? I had to create a category for art. One of the most inspiring things books I've ever read was a book called My Name is Asher Lev, and it's a book about how an artist, a painter in the Jewish faith, made a difference within his community through his art. And tonight, I could not be more thrilled to honor the lovely, the talented, and most of all, the courageous person. I'm about to say their name, but before I do, I just want to say this.

[00:35:25] Can you imagine how hard it is to be an artist and to make a living off of it and to build a community? Okay, add that to. Can you imagine how hard it would be to bring your whole audience with you in one direction and then to decide that for whatever reasons of courage or conviction, you need to pivot and move in a different direction, realizing that you're risking your entire audience for your art after you've built up an audience for however many years or decades you did so. And so tonight, we are going to honor the wonderful Minnie Gledhill for her contributions and for her album Rabbit.

[00:36:19] I think she's running in. Here she comes, everybody. This is Mindy Glidel. Yeah, you run in there. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da That's Mindy Gledhill, everybody.

Philanthropy Honorees and Closing Reflections

[00:36:44] All right, the last category that we have tonight is philanthropy. There are so many donors to all the different podcasts, to all the different communities. It is really hard to not be able to honor all of you. But because I get to, you know, do this inaugural awards ceremony, I'm in honor two people that have meant particularly a lot to me. They're not only wonderful supporters, worthy causes within Utah, but they're dear friends.

[00:37:13] These people are. They have not only supported Mormon Stories Podcast, they have also hosted a large percentage of the retreats and the workshops that we've done in Utah in their personal home. But wait, there's more. They've supported Sunstone.

[00:37:35] They've also supported the Holding Out Help House, which is a halfway house or a refugee house for exiles from the FLDS community. And they were the original supporters of Encircle, and they were the ones who made it possible for Encircle to buy that first house in Provo, Utah. These are dear friends. I love them. I love their entire family. And I present to you Holly Alden and Rick Alden.

[00:38:32] All right, let's turn up the volume, everybody. Holly and Rick Alden. And for those of. For those. There are others in this audience who have also been contributors to so many worthy causes. I hope that you will accept this award in proxy. A lot of people who give actually don't want to be named for whatever reason in their contributions or they just like to give anonymously and out of the goodness of their heart. So for all that, but most importantly tonight, Rick and Holly, we love you. We honor you. There's so many good things that would not have happened in this community without your support, and I'm sure you've supported a lot more than I've mentioned here tonight.

[00:39:20] So one final round of applause for Holly and Rick. All right, let's get a picture. Can we get a couple pictures? Can we get some pictures? Just really quick. And John could not do this without the support of Margi Dehlin.

[00:40:35] Why are you going? Are you guys still standing? Margi. All right, you guys can sit down if you want, or you can stay, whatever you want to do. Thanks, everybody. And thanks, Paul. Paul just said something nice. Is that right? Thank you, Paul. That was super nice.

[00:40:50] Okay. What? Oh, is it Margi? Margi. Stand up, Margi. Everyone give Margi a round of applause. So I actually told Margi I was going to put her in the category, and she didn't want to be put in the category, so I. But I did reserve the right to honor her on another date. So, sweetie, I love you. Clara, thanks for being here. Joel, my brother, my mom, Nan, my dad, Dave, other family members that could be with us today. I couldn't do this without your support, so you guys deserve my award for being my partners and my tribe. And I love you. Thank you.

[00:41:46] Okay, I'm over my time, so I'm just gonna end with this. As you're going through your faith crisis, process, whatever you need to process. Don't forget a few things. Don't forget. Can I get the slides back just for a second?

[00:42:05] As you're going through your faith crisis, go ahead and process. Go ahead and be angry. Go ahead and read CES letter and listen to podcasts until your heart's content. Scream into your pillow. Shout at the night sky, whatever you have to do.

[00:42:21] But don't forget to heal. Find support however you need it. Read books, listen to podcasts that are healing. Find support communities. Get a coach or a therapist if you need it. Whatever you need to do. Don't forget to heal. Get on medication if you need to, but heal right. The point of your faith crisis isn't to shake Your fist at an institution. The point of a faith crisis is the gift of the rest of your life.

[00:42:57] So heal, heal. Raise your hand if you promise to heal. All right, Grow, right? You've got this. However many years you have left, you can make a significant contribution to the world, or you can just have a bunch of fun.

[00:43:15] You can just do a lot of cool things. You could just have joy and start a hobby or. Or go to Paris or whatever it is you do. Do that. Have fun and grow and make this a fulfilling life. Find a community.

[00:43:31] Find a tribe. A lone monkey is a dead monkey. We need tribes. So find a community or create one. And if you don't have one in your local area, start one through Mormon spectrum or start one through the Thrive groups. And create the community that you need. If you don't have one.

[00:43:49] And most of all, I want to just offer a challenge, okay? If we do these awards in the future, we're gonna have other people we're bringing up here. So I want you to look at this list tonight. And the cool thing about trying to contribute in a positive way to this effort is that sometimes by actually picking an area where you're gonna make a difference. And I bet Jeremy can agree with this. I bet Hans can agree with this. I bet Steve and Allison and Stephanie, everyone who I brought up here is going to witness that. When you decide to make a positive difference in this community, you will be solving many of these problems at once.

[00:44:28] You will be turning your pain into helping others. That will help you heal, that will help you grow, that will teach you things. You will be an activist. You will be garnering courage. You will find community around the good efforts that you initiate. It's always an artistic endeavor. I'm really stretching it. And you will rely on the philanthropy of others. And if all you can do, if you can't be an activist, that's fine. If you don't want to engage in some creative effort, that's fine. Continue financially supporting those who are. We could not do this without our donors. We could not do this without our donors.

[00:45:06] So, please, we're not asking for 10%, but consider 1% of your income, okay? To worthy causes. Any of the worthy causes out there, you can help make a difference. And if you forget everything I said tonight, if you just remember to be kind, be kind to yourself. Be kind to your loved ones. And do. If I can be forgiven for quoting Jesus, paraphrasing Jesus, right?

[00:45:35] Love everyone. Love yourself and love everyone. And if that's all you remember, you'll have the best faith and the best religion of all. So thrive, everybody. Thank you so much.

Transcript © 2026 John P. Dehlin. All rights reserved. Brief quotations are welcome with attribution and a link to mormonstories.org; all other use requires written permission.