Welcome to Exvangelical Stories, a new series under the umbrella of Mormon Stories Podcast exploring the experiences of people who grew up in evangelical Christianity, questioned their faith, and found their way beyond the religious worlds that shaped their lives. 

In this episode, we sit down with Kevin Crowe to explore his journey from growing up in the Evangelical church to becoming an ex-Christian and creating content about religious deconstruction. Kevin describes his childhood in the Church of God, where church was a regular part of life, and his eventual immersion in an intense religious culture filled with speaking in tongues, being “slain in the Spirit,” spiritual warfare, and the fear of hell. 

Kevin shares his experiences with the production Heaven’s Gate and Hell’s flames where he watched people getting dragged off the stage and into hell. He discusses what it was like to witness to others and carry the eternal fate of others in his own hands. We explore how Kevin tried to discern God’s will and how he explained questions about the Bible, including Noah’s Ark.

Kevin shares how a conversation with a form pastor changed his entire life.  Kevin also reflects on the aftermath of leaving Christianity in 2009, the loneliness of deconstruction, the lingering fear of hell, and the realization that belief can disappear faster than the fear associated with it. We discuss cognitive dissonance, why people that leave religion because they want to sin is a misunderstanding of the experience of losing one’s faith.

Finally, Kevin talks about creating Jesus Unfollower, joining the deconstruction community, navigating social media as a former believer, and choosing comedy over rage in his commentary. He offers advice for those questioning their faith: stay curious, ask questions, take your time, and give yourself permission to investigate what you believe.