In this interview, we sit down with Patrick Brady and his partner Dan Dougherty to hear Patrick’s story of growing up as a gay man in the Mormon church, marrying a wonderful woman, raising a family, serving in church leadership, and eventually becoming a bishop while keeping a deeply important part of his identity hidden.

Patrick was married to Heidi for 27 years and had four children, and he describes how much he loved his family while simultaneously feeling unable to live openly as a gay man. From an early age, he was taught that being gay was sinful and that marriage to a woman could somehow “fix” his same-sex attraction. He shares how teachings from Mormon leaders, including Spencer W. Kimball, shaped his understanding of homosexuality and led him to compartmentalize his feelings and try to eliminate them rather than accept them. He shares his experiences as a missionary, his return to Salt Lake City, the underground gay culture among Mormon men, and his efforts to reconcile his sexuality with the Church he loved.

We also explore Patrick’s marriage to Heidi, his friendship with Dan, and the emotional intimacy that developed between them as two gay Mormon men who were committed to their families and their faith.

Part One follows Patrick’s journey from childhood through his marriage, family life, Church service, and the years he spent trying to live a divided life.