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  1. Shame on a god (lower case) who allows such anger, disgust & hatred towards the LDS faith and/or others. There should be a “Quitgod.com”.

  2. I don’t think the Mormon church wants people to move on. For my husband and I it’s was a constant case of whack a mole. Mark helped us resign in 2015 but that didn’t stop the contact. It was very insidious though, as if people were coached. Since we had known many people in that ward, they were constantly reaching out “as friends “ Plausible deniability you see. We changed our phone numbers, put 2 no trespassing signs in our yard but that only changed their tactics. We then got unsolicited emails to my husbands work, letters, harassment in our front yard and in several local stores.
    As “friends” Only twice was the church mentioned and only one of those was in written form so proof of official contact was problematic.
    We finally moved-we used a P.O. Box for a forwarding address and are building a front fence with a locked gate. We have already seen Mormon missionaries in our neighborhood and now are getting harassed by JW too ! I feel like it’s a David and Goliath situation. It’s insulting to us that they believe we can’t see their true motive. But at least they can no longer use the previous friendship as a shield. I’m cautiously optimistic.

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    2. Oh, man, Sandra! They are relentless. I was harassed by members and missionaries until we moved. Then the new ward contacted me and I promptly resigned. They have left me alone so far. My husband recently saw missionaries resting at a picnic table about a block from our house so we went to DEFCON 1 silent mode, but they never came to the door. If they do, we’ll have to figure a strategy.

      Thank you, John Dehlin & Mark Naugle, for this podcast. It was very interesting to me, even though I already resigned by sending my own letter. I have the feeling that the church hates resignations and are trying to intimidate people from doing it by using Kirton McKonkie. They are also trying to make it as difficult as possible as a deterrent. Any benefit of the doubt that I would have given the church on something such as this has evaporated. I’m pretty sure it’s all smoke and mirrors designed to scare people into showing up and paying up for as long as possible.

  3. Mark, thank you for doing this! I was one of the many thousands you helped get out. I too felt like I shouldn’t have to go plead my case before someone when it was really none of their business. You relieved a lot of stress! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

  4. Hi John,
    When you two discussed the harassment of former members with cookies, etc — this really reminds me of coeheretion, stalking, and harassment in an abusive relationship.

  5. Just a quick correction. You mentioned how you can get a document notarized at a bank, “like Wells Fargo”. This statement is true. “You don’t even have to bank there,” however, is not a true statement. In most cases, you need to bank at that bank.

  6. This must be new because I was able to resign back January 2021 with a letter. I also made it clear no missionary contact.

  7. I requested a letter confirming my removal of my records. You need to ask for it, I had to call twice but I got one. It was like two lines. Mine was a two line letter and I rec’d mine Feb 1, 2021 but it was dated Jan 18, 2021.

  8. Thank you both for the work you do! John you’re helping me through my deconstruction. Haven’t used quitmormon yet simply due to not wanting to hurt family but my day will come when I’m emotionally ready.

  9. Mark got me, my husband and our son out in February 2017 while we were living in Salt Lake, and we have not looked back! It was the second time we resigned, and the last. 20 years earlier we actually made the grueling road to be re-baptized, get our temple blessings restored, and my husband’s priesthood blessings restored, then I became a temple worker where I had the realization that the church was not all the truth we had been indoctrinated with, and I went on a personal quest that eventually led me out after so many years, and being a 5th generation LDS, related to Joseph Smith AND Brigham Young. Good bye! Thank you Mark!! Thank you John!!

  10. I left the church around 2012 or so…I was High Priest Group teacher ( cringe) at the time. I’d not attended any church meeting for a couple of years before resigning. I didn’t get contacted by anyone during that time…not even the bishop! No harassment at all when resigning, no attempted contact or visits since……heck, my feelings are starting to get hurt!

  11. Another exceptional Mormon Stories. Mark is such a great person. I wish him the best. My resignation is 2003 meant a lot of to me. It’s step to closure. It’s a statement that I resent the lies that I was taught for most of my life and don’t want to be counted as one of them. Thanks John for conducting this interview.

  12. As per usual I listen to most of these stories two to three weeks after they were posted. It was interesting to learn what a hassle it is for people to get out. My experience was shockingly easy. I thought this might be worth sharing. I sent my letter of resignation to the member records department over two years ago and, to my great surprise, received the church’s response less than two weeks later. I thought folks might be interested in both missives so I have shared both below. The first half of my resignation is me doing a bit of venting but the second part was lifted from the internet somewhere with a line or two added by me. I wonder if Mr. Naugle was the one who composed the second legalistic sounding part?

    This is where my name was
    D.O.B. XXXXXX
    This is where my address was.
    XXXXXXXX, XX

    10/25/2018

    Member Records
    Salt Lake City, Utah 84150-531
    50 E. North Temple,
    Room 1372

    To Whom It Concerns,
    Frankly I’m a bit surprised I have to write this letter at all since I haven’t had any formal connection with your church in well over forty years. However, it was recently brought to my attention that you still count me as a member of record and that the records you have concerning me are being sent to your local authorities whenever I move. I guess I’m less surprised by the fact that you don’t clean up your records periodically to more honestly reflect the actual membership than I am by the fact that you send records containing personal information about me to people in my area who are complete strangers to me. In fact, I find that to be an unwelcome form of stalking that I do not appreciate.

    That being said, I’ll take some of the blame because I guess I should have written this letter long ago (1974) when, after much fasting, prayer and study, I at long last came to see the church of my ancestors in a much clearer light. I won’t burden you with the details of that long and lonely journey since I now know my experience is a very common one throughout the Mormon world so I’m certain you’ve heard it all before. What I would like to do is disclose a bit of information about my relationship with my wife, XXXXXX, because I don’t want my actions to reflect on, or interfere with, her desire to rekindle a stronger relationship with the LDS church.

    Before XXXXXX and I got married, in 1994, we developed a clear understanding with one another about our Mormon roots and where that might lead our relationship. For my part I tried to make it perfectly clear that I was not simply an “inactive Mormon” or what is often referred to as a “jack Mormon”. No, at that time as is the case today, I was an actively disbelieving ex-member. Short of a visit from the almighty Herself I could never return to Mormonism in good conscience. I didn’t want XXXXXX to hold any false hopes that I might someday return to the fold. She indicated she could live with that and that’s all I have ever expected from her. For XXXXXX’s part, she made it clear that although she was inactive at that time, she was still a believer. I promised that I would never stand between her and her relationship with God and that if she ever became active again I would do whatever I could to support her short of participating in any church activity myself. That agreement has served us well enough over these past 24+ years and it remains in effect today now that she has decided to become active again. It was during a recent visit to our home from her new Bishop that I learned your church is still tracking me as some sort of member. I was confused by that, the Bishop seemed confused by my response to that and Marsha felt embarrassed by the interaction. I love my wife and want her to be at peace with life, her incredible role as a mother and as a long suffering companion to me. So long as her love for the church works toward that end I will faithfully support her. Conversely, I am no longer a member of your organization and don’t want to be counted as such. With that I submit the following:

    This letter is my formal resignation from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and it is effective
    Circa 1974 or immediately, whichever gets the job done first. I hereby withdraw my consent to being treated as a member and I withdraw my consent to being subject to church rules, policies, beliefs and ‘discipline’. As I am no longer a member, I want my name permanently and completely removed from the membership rolls of the church.

    I have given this matter considerable thought. I am aware that the church handbook says that my resignation cancels the effects of baptism and confirmation, withdraws the priesthood held by a male member and revokes temple blessings”. I also understand that I will be “readmitted to the church by baptism only after a thorough interview”. None of that is of any concern to me.

    My resignation should be processed immediately, without any ‘waiting periods’. I disowned the church in 1974; nothing is going to change my mind.

    I expect this matter to be handled promptly, with respect and with full confidentiality.

    After today, the only contact I want from the church is a single letter of confirmation to let me know that I am no longer listed as a member of the church. I trust that I will receive the letter of confirmation in a timely manner.
    Sincerely,
    XXXX

    I was hoping I could figure out how to paste a copy of the church’s response here but alas I’m not very techy. As I stated I received this letter from the church 10 days later. It has the church letterhead at the top. After that the letter is as follows:

    GLOBAL SERVICE CENTER
    Member, Leader, and Unit Services
    120 North 200 West
    Salt Lake City, Utah 84103-1511

    November 2, 2018
    My name
    and address
    was here.

    Dear Brother XXXX:
    This letter is to notify you that, in accordance with your request, your name has been removed from the membership records of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
    Should you desire to become a member of the Church in the future, the local bishop or branch president in your area will be happy to help you.

    Sincerely,
    Confidential Records

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