In part 2 of this 3 part series on LDS homosexuality, we learn about a man named Russ, who followed his bishop’s counsel to get married in spite of his same sex attraction, and the problems that came about as a result.

This film, like the first, was created as part of Dr. Ron Schow’s sabbatical project at Idaho State University. They were produced and directed by Ron Schow and Mike Green with the support of the group

Again, if you are interested in these issues, please check out:, which is dedicated to supporting faithful LDS members w/ the issue of homosexuality.


  1. Mike Thomas August 16, 2006 at 12:29 pm

    The doctor mentioned how the mormon church leaders have given wise counsel but that isn’t the case.
    A friend of a friend went to his bishop who told him getting married would cure his homosexuality. Didn’t work. Went back for more ‘wise counsel.’ Have children did that too but still didn’t seem to work. How wise is that?

  2. wkempton August 16, 2006 at 2:26 pm

    I had a gay roommate named John when I was in college in San Diego California. I suspected he was gay from the first meeting. I have always been rather progressive so it didn’t bother me that he seemed gay. And there were three of us living together; the other roommate was clearly heterosexual like me. John was completely in the closet when we were roommates, and was struggling with it. He used to let me grab a magazine from his magazine rack just inside the door of his bedroom. One day I went to grab one and noticed a magazine by his bed so I went over to pick it up and underneath was a book about LDS members struggling with same-sex attraction. I never confronted him or anything but just felt really sorry for him. He always seemed isolated socially, never really fit in to the LDS singles scene like my other roommate and I did. I knew he was trying to date and fit into LDS culture, but he was clearly a 5 or 6 on the Kinsey scale. When I went home for the summer I didn’t return to San Diego but finished college near home. I heard through the grape vine that he had left the church and came out of the closet. I remember feeling relived for him.

    As a post-Mormon I am saddened by the homophobia that exists in most of the church. An LDS friend of mine just recently argued that even if same-sex attraction is real they can choose not to act on it. I asked my friend “if you had a daughter would you want her dating a gay man trying to act straight?” He ignored the question.

    This video ends by stating that Evergreen reports that they receive 150 contacts a month from Mormons experiencing same-sex attraction, of those, 40% are married LDS men. Then the narrator quotes an LDS leader who says some people who don’t marry on earth can marry in heaven. So that’s the solution for these men, celibacy? Loneliness? The denial of any sexual gratification? If a heterosexual Latter day Saint were told they had to be celibate and couldn’t experience any sexual gratification for the rest of their life, how would they feel? Don’t LDS ridicule the Catholic Church for their policy that priests must be celibate, which some say is responsible for the pedophile scandals?

    I don’t see any solution to the problem as long as D&C 132 is part of LDS scripture and is taken literally. Liberal Christians have found ways around biblical passages on homosexuality but the entire LDS plan of exaltation/salvation is wrapped around heterosexuality: the core of Mormonism is the belief in polygamy in heaven (D&C 132: 63) and both sexes becoming gods (eternal families) only if they are married heterosexually (D&C 132: 15 – 20). In the “Family: A Proclamation to the World” the LDS church has clearly spelled this out with sayings like “Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose. The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed…” The LDS church needs to undergo a major reformation on this issue, starting with editing these documents to include the recognition of same-sex attraction and acknowledge the psychological and scientific data that shows it is not a choice but part of nature, or God’s plan if you will.

    Those who experience same-sex attraction are told by the church that their very nature is an enemy to God, how they feel, the core of their being, is evil, and any love they have for the same sex is depraved. They are told to marry when they don’t find women as appealing as men or not appealing at all. No wonder so many gay LDS become depressed and contemplate or actually commit suicide!

  3. anon August 16, 2006 at 8:25 pm

    wkempton: If you talk to any older psychologists, you’ll find out that the APA’s decision in the 1970’s to change their position and say “gay is okay” was a political decision, not a scientific one, and not supported by a majority of APA’s members at the time.

    The “psychological and scientific data” was completely re-written by those with a political agenda, and was protested by a majority of APA members back then. But the leadership of APA were “progressives” who forced the change.

    I also remember reading about one study that correlated out-of-balance hormone levels in the mother during pregancy with later effeminate behavior of such male children. Effeminate behavior does not necessarily correlate to homosexuality, but it may influence those problems in family relationships which have shown a correlation to homosexuality.

    I acknowledge that more is known now since the 1970’s, but the PC-police have also had more time to cook the books and rewrite things.

  4. Ron Schow August 16, 2006 at 10:00 pm

    The point of this film is to show what can happen when a gay man reflects on the hopes and realities of living in a heterosexual relationship in an LDS context. As will be seen here, there are serious difficulties for both the gay man and the heterosexual wife.

    The wise counsel mentioned in the film is the counsel by President Hinckley when he said ““Marriage should not be viewed as a therapeutic step to solve problems such as homosexual inclinations or practices.”

    Anyone who wants to understand better this kind of a marriage should view this film. It is not a film about the “politics of the APA” or a film with a focus on bringing about a “major reformation on this issue” in the LDS Church. It is meant to be a film which tells a personal family story for the benefit that story may have for others.

    Ron Schow

  5. paula August 16, 2006 at 10:42 pm

    My family has had some experience with issue, not my husband and I, but a close family member. I thought that the video did a very good job of telling the story of how the people in that kind of marriage feel. I’d also agree that gay Mormon men seem to be more likely to marry than other gay men, at least judging by how many marriages like this I have known of. Anon, I think that many actions that are derided as “PC” these days are really actions that would have been called kind, well-mannered, or christian in the past. Or often they are actions that change long held beliefs in light of better knowledge in present times.

  6. mayan elephant August 17, 2006 at 2:35 am


    crawl back under your anonymous rock and save your bigotry and delusions for another place and time.

    pc police? gimme a break. as if this is all a big conspiracy against that underprivelaged heterosexual crowd. eeeeeee gads.

    your little “gay is okay” comment is neither factual or polite by the way. oh, as a matter of fact, i would be willing to bet that none of your claims can be backed up with legitimate reference and that they wouldnt stand up to any qualified review. but that is neither here nor there. the bigger issue, is that you think the pre-70’s tone of “gay is not ok”, along with its accompanying beatings and insults, will do.

    well, i disagree. despite the rabid tone of dallin oaks and others like him, the world is actually becoming a better and more tolerant place.

    i applaud those that do legitimate research to make this world a better place for gay people and their families

  7. Chris Williams August 31, 2006 at 2:44 pm

    If you talk to any older psychologists, you’ll find out that the APA’s decision in the 1970’s to change their position and say “gay is okay” was a political decision, not a scientific one, and not supported by a majority of APA’s members at the time.

    I don’t usually talk like this in public but, this is horseshit.

    The decision was made because there was an emerging consensus that homosexuality is not a psychological disorder.

    Discussions of homosexuality are almost always political–but that’s life.

  8. StevenB September 5, 2006 at 11:26 am

    …the APA’s decision in the 1970’s to change their position and say “gay is okay” was a political decision, not a scientific one….

    A radio program telling the story of the change at the APA can be heard online at This American Life. It is a fascinating story and well worth a listen, even given its 60 minute length.

    As the program indicates, it is true that gay activists helped to bring about the change in the DSM at the APA, but sometimes it takes a political activist. Should we repeal the civil rights advances won by African Americans simply because Rosa Parks and Dr. MLK were activists?

    What is important, and also mentioned in the program, is that important research was clearly a factor in the removal of homosexuality from the DSM. A discription of Evelyn Hooker’s contributing 1959 study is available here and here.

  9. Clark Goble September 5, 2006 at 2:47 pm

    There was an interesting podcast over at Instapundit a few months back with the guy in charge of the APA at the time. He has a new book out (well relatively new now) called Destructive Trends in Mental Health: The Well-Intentioned Path to Harm which is about the politicization of psychology.

  10. Bill Rice January 29, 2007 at 2:37 pm

    This is not a video we should promote. The video supports the idea that people are born gay and have no control over how they respond to same-sex attractions. In reality, there is a lot that people with same-sex feelings can do to understand them and resolve many of the difficulties that cause the attractions. The video says that efforts to resolve the problems and live a chaste life are useless and people should just give in and live a gay life. That’s crazy. Thousands of people have overcome same-sex attraction and live very happy, heterosexual lives. Just see or

  11. Bill Rice January 29, 2007 at 2:39 pm

    The correct Web address for the Exodus site in my comment is

  12. Dalton Wickes August 30, 2007 at 10:30 am

    Bill Rice,
    If you think sexuality is so fluid, I suggest you try to imagine yourself ‘choosing’ to be gay. Were you born hetero? Or did you choose? Can you rid yourself of your attraction for women? I’m willing to bet you see your own sexuality as rather inflexible, and that you would fear psychological damage if you were to do anything so revolting to your nature.

    Whether you think this video is worthy of promotion, it is sincere, and honest and deals with specific people with specific exceptions taken to official doctrine based on first hand experience. Bill, if you find this topic bewildering, fine. It is totally foreign to you. Just dont pontificate on something for which you know absolutely nothing about. (I wish the General Authorities would follow such advice.) I can at least positively rate their recent comments that they don’t know what causes homosexuality. That doesn’t seem to have made them any more tolerant, however. Like blacks and the priesthood, I suspect there are a lot of people praying for positive steps to a solution. People will threaten to leave the church over the issue, but, as was in the ’70s, few did, and that was more than offset by the renewed strength of the testimonies of so many of us who struggled over the issue. If some such similar revelation were to occur, think of how many suicides will be prevented, how many oppressed members will no longer debate leaving the church. Think of how many people will finally be able to recognise themselves to be the children of God they rightfully are. I was once told that God does not make mistakes, and I replied with ‘My point exactly!’

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